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  • Sounds of birds chirping and traffic moving. No sunlight yet, but you know its morning. You awake from the bench you decided to call a bed for the night. I dust myself off and start walking for the nearest public restroom cause you have to piss like a race horse. You walk down a block to the gas station. As you walk in and head for the bathroom, the clerk gives you a dirty stare. “Up his ass with Mobile gas”, I think to myself and proceed to the restroom. As I Open the barn door and let the mongoose out to do his thing, I notice the guy next to me trying to peep over. I give him the look like, “Yah that’s right.” He turns quickly and rushes out the restroom without even washing his hands. Homo. Anyways I clean myself up a little and look in the mirror. Boy you really let yourself go now. Got to steal a razor today and that should take care of that problem. The clerk stares me down again as I walk out the station. So I flip him the bird on my way to tell him how much I appreciate his letting me use his restroom. He yells some vulgar words of which none I can understand for they were in another language. Not that I really cared either. I stop at the crosswalk, light up my last cigarette and think, “Today is going to be a good day.”.

    The agenda for they day was unclear. In fact the agenda is always unclear. The hell with agendas, I live life by the seat of my pants. The only thing that was for certain everyday, was that something was going to be stolen. Walking down a park path on my way to Wally World, I noticed another dude down by the river bathing. Ugh. You figured he would have done that last night when no one could see him. As I continue walking I start to think, “is everything going to be this way forever?”. I hope not, but I probably could care less since I am not trying to do anything about it at the moment. Almost to Wally World when I notice a liquor bottle beside the curb half full. Crown Royal, not bad. So I chug it down real quick as if in a hurry not be caught. I am in fucking Missouri for Christ sake, like these hillbillies give a damn. Oh well to late to complain about enjoying it now cause it was gone. Ahh, Wally World. Pace where everything is low priced and senior citizen’s run the show. Ha. I crack myself up sometimes. As I walk in I am greeted by what seems to be 90 year old cripple. Obviously he is about 60 something and just to lazy to stand up all day I figure. So I walk down the main aisle till I it the snack section. See a couple of Homerun Pies. Apple is my favorite. About three seconds later I am already on my way o the grooming supply area. Man I am good. Not that I try to be, but when you got to do what you got to do, you just do it. On my way back to the front I see the razor section and make my towards it. I see the new five blade they got. There is also a four blade. Damn to many blades for me. So I just get the good old Mach 3 Turbo, it works for me. On my way out I grab a Dew and start to pound it down when I notice someone staring me down from behind. I turn and look and nothing. Hmm, I got to get some money this stealing shit sucks.



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